Chat Waiting

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine [[New chat from Kzorp]] [[Chats in queue: 3]]

(if: $kzorp_chat is 1)[Kzorp always has something to say. I can picture the zarginian's tentacled appendages rapidly tapping the keyboard at every minor transgression. Desperately fighting for the glory that is StarNet Communications, and also to secure a cushy management job. Honestly, ignoring Kzorp sounds great. His message will only insult the memory of my break.] (if: $kzorp_chat is 2)[I'm willing to bet Kzorp needs help with something, I wonder what he's going to do when I leave this place?] [[Ignore Message->Logged In]] [[Read Message]]

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine [[Password Reset]] - Name: Q'ORZIZ - Planet: Malog - Password Reset [[Billing Inquiry]] - Name: Lenzo - Planet: Lenzo - Billing Inquiry [[Technical]] - Name: Bitzcog - Planet: Taurel - Technical (set: $chats to 3)

Space truly is beautiful. A near infinite source of adventure and discovery spread across lightyears of danger, and I'm [[here]]. (set: $kzorp_chat to 1) (set: $job to "fine") (set: $chats to 3)

In [[space]].

And it has to be the most unexciting [[existence]] I can think of.

The info-stream text scrolling along the wall starts flashing red, signifying the end of my break. I don't even need to read the message, I know what it says. "EMPLOYEE 19251, YOU ARE AWAY FROM YOUR POST. [[RETURN]] IMMEDIATELY." The caps of the info-stream always felt like the station was yelling at me, which I guess it was.

I stop gazing out of the circular window and make my way back towards my cubicle. My steps getting lighter and lighter as I approach, the lack of gravity becoming more apparent the closer I get. With a gentle jump I float the rest of the way down the hall to my work station. Pulling myself closer to my computer I'm greeted by the familiar [[screen->Log In]].

Life on StarNet Support Station 611 is sterile. Off-white panels cover every wall and the entire station smells of cleaning solution. It's dull, and besides calls from customers nothing ever happens. Well maybe not completely, the gravity generator in my cubicle sector went out last week. Can't float around [[back]] home in Kansas.

(if: $kzorp_chat is 1)[StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Kzorp: Greg, you were 3 minutes late from your last break. That's a minute longer than last time. |convo>[(link:"Everything's fine")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"Everything's fine")]] (link: "This job sucks")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"This job sucks")]]]] (if: $kzorp_chat is 2)[StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine (if: $billingDone is 2)[Kzorp:How would you reset a password? |convo>[(link:"Are you kidding me?")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"Are you kidding me?")]] (link: "Here's how")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"Here's how")]] ]] (if: $passDone is 2)[Kzorp: This account won't recharge. |convo>[(link:"Must I do everything?")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"Incompetence")]] (link:"What's on the account?")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"Helpful")]]] ]] (set: $kzorp_chat +=1)

Greg: Unfortunately the lack of gravity made it take longer. We don't all have the utility of suckered limbs. You're right though, I should be here on time. [[Chats in queue: 3]] (set: $job to "fine")

Greg: We're stuck in a metal box in space doing tech support Kzorp. This job sucks. Maybe tomorrow I'll try for 5 minutes. [[Chats in queue: 3]] (set: $job to "sucks")

Password Resets have to be the easiest thing to do. Five minutes, tops. Kzorp usually takes these the first chance he gets, which I can't totally blame him for. They're generally the least painful to answer. StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine [[Take Chat ->Pass Reset]] - Name: Q'ORZIZ - Planet: [[Malog]] [[Back->Chats in queue: 3]]

Billing Inquiries are generally short chats to answer, but there is always the risk of the person chatting being extremely pissed off. Whenever money is involved emotion tends to rise. StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine [[Take Chat->Billing]] - Name: [[Lenzo]] - Planet: Lenzo (if: $chats is 3)[[[Back->Chats in queue: 3]] ]

Technical chats, the bane of my existence. Kzorp and I don't agree on much but even he can't deny that technicals can suck. They're the wild card of chats, either a simple restart will fix the issue or you're stuck trying to give instructions to someone who may not know how to operate a computer, or not have the required appendages. (if:$chats <3)[So of course Kzorp left the chat to me.] StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine [[Take Chat->Tech]] - Name: [[Bitzcog]] - Planet: Taurel - Technical (if: $chats >= 2)[ [[Chats in queue: 3]]] (else:)[Chats in queue: 1]

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Name: Q'ORZIZ - Planet: Malog You are now chatting with Greg. Q'ORZIZ: HELLO, AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR HELPING ME TODAY. MY PASSWORD ISN'T WORKING. |convo>[(link:"Let me check your account")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"Let me check your account")]] (link: "Your capslock is on")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"Your capslock is on")]] (link: "Nope, screw this")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"Nope, screw this")]]]

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Name: Lenzo - Planet: Lenzo You are now chatting with Greg. Greg: Thank you for contacting StarNet Communications Support, how may I help you today? Lenzo: Hi, once again you guys didn't automatically recharge our service as we asked, so I'm chatting in because you can't do your job. |convo>[(link:"My apologies")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"My apologies")]] (link: "And you're an asshole")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"And you're an asshole")]]]

I don't know much about the Lenzo, or the planet Lenzo for that matter. All I know is that everyone on the planet has the same name, and it is a major pain in the ass to learn which one you are talking to. Luckily the Lenzo tend to be a relatively calm people. [[Back->Billing Inquiry]]

The people of Malog are wonderfully polite, caused by a culture where politeness equates to status. Malogians are also the most forgetful beings I have ever encountered. Nine out of ten password resets seem to be for people on Malog. [[Back->Password Reset]]

Bitzcog, I recognize that name but I don't remember him being Taurelian. The only Bitzcog I've interacted with was from planet Eien, and he could unleash a torrent of verbal violence at minor irritants. [[Back ->Technical]]

Greg: Let me check your account, may I have your name or account number? Q'ORZIZ: MY NAME IS Q'ORZIZ ZYNDIFZCKL, I DON'T KNOW MY ACCOUNT NUMBER, MY APOLOGIES. |convo2>[(link:"One moment")[(replace: ?convo2)[(display:"lookup q'orziz")]] (link: "Your capslock is on")[(replace: ?convo2)[(display:"Your capslock is on")]]]

Greg: I believe your capslock might be on, have you tried turning it off and logging in? Q'ORZIZ: Oh my goodness it worked, thank you very much for the assistance! |convo2>[(link:"It was my pleasure.")[(replace: ?convo2)[(display:"Capslock Close")]]]

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Name: Q'ORZIZ - Planet: Malog You are now chatting with Greg. Q'ORZIZ: HELLO, AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR HELPING ME TODAY. MY PASSWORD ISN'T WORKING. Greg: Nope, screw this. Screw your password. Screw this job. I'm done! Q'ORZIZ: WHAT? You have disconnected the chat. [[Leave]]

Greg: One moment while I look up your account. Q'ORZIZ: THANK YOU. [[Check Account]]

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Name: Q'ORZIZ - Planet: Malog Greg: You're password should be reset now. Please check your messages for the temporary password. Q'ORZIZ: THANKS, HAVE A GREAT DAY. Q'ORZIZ has closed the chat. [[Chats in queue: 1]] (set: $passDone to 2)

Greg: It was my pleasure, thank you for contacting StarNet Customer Support. Have a great day. Q'ORZIZ has closed the chat. [[Chats in queue: 1]] (set: $passDone to 2)

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine [[Technical]] - Name: Bitzcog - Planet: Taurel - Technical (if: $kzorp_chat is 2)[(link:"New Chat from Kzorp")[(goto: "New Chat from Kzorp")]] (set: $chats to 1) (set: $technicalDone to 1)

I leave the cubicle, not even bothering to sign out of my computer. I drift past the other cubicles, Kzorp poking his shelled head out and giving me a panicked look. I'm probably going to be [[fired]].

And forced to pay [[transport]] fees to the closest habitable planet.

I'll at least be able to have an [[adventure->Start up]].

Greg: My apologies, let me see what I can do to fix this problem for you. May I have your account number please? Lenzo: LNZ000001 Lenzo: And do actually try to put us on automatic recharge this time. |convoNext>[(link:"Look Up Lenzo Account")[(replace: ?convoNext)[(display:"Look Up Lenzo Account")]] (link: "You're being a real dick")[(replace: ?convoNext)[(display:"You're being a real dick")]]]

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Name: Lenzo - Planet: Lenzo You are now chatting with Greg. Greg: Thank you for contacting StarNet Communications Support, how may I help you today? Lenzo: Hi, once again you guys didn't automatically recharge our service as we asked, so I'm chatting in because you can't do your job. Greg: Wow, you're a total asshole. I don't have to take this, so how about you go take your billing problem and shove it! Lenzo: I HOPE YOU KNOW YOUR MANAGER WILL SEE THIS, YOUR ASS IS GRASS BUDDY! Greg: Yeah, who gives a shit? Not me. You have disconnected the chat. [[Leave]]

Greg: One moment while I look up your [[account ->LenzoAccount]]. Lenzo: Yeah sure.

Greg: You're being a real dick, do you know that? Lenzo: How dare you! You can not speak to me that way! I want to speak to your manager right now! Greg: Well I can, because I am. You don't have to take your petty grudges out on me, yet you are. So get bent. You have disconnected the chat. [[Leave]]

The total came to a gigantic $175,804,664,200.32 which I [[charged]] to the Galactic Card on file.

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Name: Lenzo - Planet: Lenzo Greg: It seems the last payment was declined. Lenzo: That's bullshit! The card is GOOD! |convo3>[(link:"There are a lot of devices")[(replace: ?convo3)[(display:"There are a lot of devices")]]]

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Payment [[Declined ->The payment was declined]]

Greg: Well I see over 3 billion devices on your account. Lenzo: Of course there is, every person on the damn planet has a device. Greg: So you pay for everyone on planet Lenzo? Lenzo: Yes, that's the government's job. |convo>[(link:"You should call your card provider")[(replace: ?convo)[(display:"You should call your card provider")]]]

Greg: Well the card was declined by our system, so you'll need to call your card provider. Lenzo: What the hell, I'm telling you the card is good! Greg: And our system is saying it's not going through, so I can't recharge the account. Lenzo: You're lucky StarNet is the only damn provider here. How about you get a real job you dumbass. Lenzo has disconnected from the chat. [[Chats in queue: 1]] (set: $billingDone to 2)

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine Name: Bitzcog - Planet: Taurel You are now chatting with Greg. Bitzcog: My service isn't working! Why do you keep giving me shitty devices! Greg: Have you tried turning it off and on again? Bitzcog: No, why would that do anything. Greg: Give it a try, you'd be surprised. Bitzcog: Holy shit it worked. Thanks! Greg: No problem. Thank you for contacting StarNet Communications, have a great day! Bitzcog has disconnected the chat. (set: $chats -=1) (if: $chats >1)[(display: "1Chat")] (else:)[(display: "No Chats")]

Finally, no chats in the queue. The day is over. Time to go study intergalactic navigation so I can [[Start up<- leave]] this place.

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine [[Log In->Logged In]] [[Shut Down]]

Nope, not today. I've decided. I am done with this shitty job, even if it means I'm [[fired]].

Double-click this passage to edit it.

Your body starts convulsing. [Drink some water] or [call 911]?

Which pill do you want to take? |pills>[(link: "The red pill")[(replace: ?pills)[(display: "The red pill")]] or (link: "the blue pill")[(replace: ?pills)[(display: "The blue pill")]]]

It takes the system a minute to bring up his account, which is unusual, until I see his account. 3,516,093,284 different devices, all needing to be recharged. And it turns out his account was on automatic recharge, the payment was declined. >[[The payment was declined]] [[Try to run the payment again]]

[[Chats in queue: 1->Billing Left]] [[New chat from Kzorp]] (set: $billingDone to 2) (set: $passDone to 1)

StarNet Support Station 611 Employee 19251 - Greg Kaine [[Billing Inquiry]] - Name: Lenzo - Planet: Lenzo - Billing Inquiry

[[Chats in queue: 0 ->disconnected]]

I see only two results for Q'orziz Zyndifzckl pop up. One is on planet Lamog, the other planet Malog. I swear, who the hell is in charge of naming these places. The Malog account has had numerous password resets over the past few months. Seems to be the correct account. [[Reset Password->Click Malog]]

Greg: Are you kidding me dude? How do you not know how to reset a password by now? Kzorp: Hey! I'm making sure you know what your doing, now do you know how to do it or not? |convo4>[(link:"Yeah I do")[(replace: ?convo4)[(display:"Here's how")]] (link: "FFS")[(replace: ?convo4)[(display:"FFS")]]]

Greg: Oh for fucks sake Kzorp, if you need help just ask for it. Kzorp: I don't need help, and don't make me put in a complaint. |convo5>[(link:"Apologize")[(replace: ?convo5)[(display:"Apologize")]] (link: "Go ahead")[(replace: ?convo5)[(display:"Go ahead")]]]

Greg: Here's how you reset a password, first go to their account, under Account Profile you'll see their username and a button that says "Reset Password" click on that button and you're good. Kzorp: Good job, just making sure you knew how to do it. |convo3>[(link:"Yeah, no problem")[(replace: ?convo3)[(display:"Yeah, no problem")]] (link: "Give me a break")[(replace: ?convo3)[(display:"Give me a break")]]]

Greg: Yeah, I'm doing fine Kzorp. (if: $billingDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1->Billing Left]]] (if: $passDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1 ->Chats in queue: 1]] ]

Greg: Right... sure you were. Next time why don't you just ask for my help? Kzorp: I really was, you can believe what you want. Greg: Okay Kzorp. (if: $billingDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1->Billing Left]]] (if: $passDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1 ->Chats in queue: 1]] ]

Greg: Must I do everything? Kzorp: I'm just making sure you know what you're doing Greg. So how would you deal with this situation? |convo9>[(link:"I'd tell you to fuck off")[(replace: ?convo9)[(display:"I'd tell you to fuck off")]] (link: "First, check the account")[(replace: ?convo9)[(display:"Helpful")]]]

Greg: What's on the account? Kzorp: They have numerous devices, and they want to automatically recharge each one. |convo7>[(link:"Then do that.")[(replace: ?convo7)[(display:"Then do that.")]] (link:"What issue are they having?")[(replace: ?convo7)[(display:"What issue are they having?")]]]

Greg: They why don't you set them to automatic recharge? Kzorp: It's already set to automatically recharge every month. But the devices still aren't active. Greg: Did you check the credit card? Did it go through? Kzorp: No. Greg: If it doesn't go through again, tell the customer to contact their card company. (if: $billingDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1->Billing Left]]] (if: $passDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1 ->Chats in queue: 1]] ]

Greg: What's the issue? Kzorp: Their card won't go through. Greg: Then we can't help them unfortunately, tell them to contact their card company. (if: $billingDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1->Billing Left]]] (if: $passDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1 ->Chats in queue: 1]] ]

Greg: I'd tell you to fuck off. Kzorp: Do you want to be reported? |convo3>[(link:"Go ahead")[(replace: ?convo3)[(display:"Go ahead")]] (link: "No")[(replace: ?convo3)[(display:"No")]]]

Greg: You're right, I'm sorry Kzorp. Kzorp: Forgiven, now do you know how to reset user passwords? |convo4>[(link:"Yeah I do")[(replace: ?convo4)[(display:"Here's how")]]]

Greg: Go ahead! I don't care! Reporting me doesn't make you any less incompetent Kzorp. Once I'm gone, you'd be screwed. Kzorp: Consider yourself reported then. |convo6>[(link:"I'm going back to work")[(replace: ?convo6)[(display:"I'm going back to work")]] (link: "I'm done")[(replace: ?convo6)[(display:"Leave")]]]

Greg: I'm going back to work. (if: $billingDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1->Billing Left]]] (if: $passDone is 2)[[[Chats in queue: 1 ->Chats in queue: 1]] ]

Greg: No I don't, I'm sorry. But seriously how do you not know this by now? We get these chats every day. Kzorp: I do know how to recharge accounts, I'm just making sure you do. |convo8>[(link:"What's on the account?")[(replace: ?convo8)[(display:"Helpful")]]]